Monday, February 11, 2008

Shocking News

I was cruising some websites about Arizona in preparation for my trip this weekend and I stumbled across this article in the local Phoenix, AZ newspaper. It is shocking to say the least.

Working on an anonymous tip, immigration officials from Phoenix conducted a raid at the Junipine Resort in Sedona, AZ. There had been speculation for years that there were many illegal immigrants working at the resort but the crafty resort manager was always one step ahead of the government.

This time, with the help of an informant, he would have no such luck. Officials raided the resort at 6am Saturday morning. While it seemed that most of the resort workers were tipped off or not working yet, two employees were apprehended hiding in the woods. With both people in custody and neither being able to provide any identification to prove citizenship, officials felt they finally had the proof they needed to arrest the resort manager.

Armed with an arrest warrant, a motorcade of law enforcement officials containing local, county, state, and federal agents proceeded to a house in Flagstaff, AZ where the Resort Manager Chris Bosselman lives. While only 10am, officials felt they had the element of surprise on their side. Unfortunately, they were too late. Chris's wife "D" told officials he was gone and "out on a bike ride". An all points bulletin was rescinded after they learned by bike ride he was actually on a bicycle. The residence was staked out for 20 minutes and with no suspect in sight the wife was arrested for obstruction of justice since she refused to provide any more information than "he is on a bike ride". When the 20 minutes had passed officials felt this was a lie since who would ride a bicycle for more than 20 minutes?

The suspect didn't return to the house for another 2 hours and upon arrival undercover agents were ready to arrest him. "He must have been tipped off because he was indeed on a bike and wearing Spandex.", the undercover agent reported. "No normal person goes for a bike ride in the morning for 2 1/2 hours. He is either really smart or down right crazy."

Mr. Bosselman was taken to the Sedona Police Department where he was questioned about all illegal activity specifically the two "employees" in custody. He immediately responded it was not unusual to hire minorities for resort work but they must prove citizenship. As a further act of in-your-face-edness, he told officials he makes a photo copy of ID's in case he ever runs into a situation like this. After transporting him back to the resort he provided this single ID for the 2 suspects in custody.

Obviously this wasn't legal.

Once the laughter stopped, tears were wiped from the eyes, and coffee launched from a burst of laughter was cleaned up Federal Agent Chip McDivot told Mr. Bosselman he was "going away for a very long time, and did he have anything to say for himself?"

Mr Bosselman calmly replied, "In just under a year John McCain (R-AZ) is going to be president. When he is, he is going to revolutionize immigration laws as we know it. I am just just getting ahead of the times and setting myself up for the future. If you try to prosecute me, by the time you get a case together based on fact not speculation, it will be at least late fall. If it does go to trial then I will just appeal sending this case into next year. When Johnny Mac is president, and you know he will be, what I will be defending myself against will essentially be legal at that time thus making prosecution impossible. So if you want to spend the time, resources, and money into prosecuting me go ahead but you know it will be a waste."

After conferring with the District Attorney it was concluded that Mr. Bosselman was probably right and to save the time, money, and department image all charges against Mr. Bosselman and his wife were subsequently dropped.


CTB said...

Jeff bought it through the first 1/3.

Steve said...

I always knew that Bosselmann was up to something. Lucky for him he's always one step ahead of his pursuers.